So, that's another year gone.

I swear each year goes by faster and faster.
I did something unthinkable and stuck to a resolution this year. I managed to get into blogging again. And have become totally addicted to it. Its like I have this almighty yearning to go to a computer and type up some bullshit. I don't think people appreciate how much blogging can help you get things off your chest. I mean would people prefer that they get even more bullshit from me, than what they all ready do?

This year has had a lot of low points, with having a few people I'm close to die, and also a suicide attempt a few months ago. I have struggled this year both financially and mentally. Without having a release or any of my friends to rely on, I really doubt I could have made it without any of them. So thank you. Thats the people I have befriended through this site, the GC fam, work pals, College pals, rosyth Peoples, cowdenbeath/kelty peoples and basically anyone who has offered me something to lean on this past year. I love you all.

There has been some good things this year, like seeing Nofx for the first time in 8 years, having banter with many bands including Dogsflesh, Outl4w and 4PM. Just going to gigs generally makes me happy. I am planning on some more gigs this year, seeing as I missed out on some in 09. Mostly because its been the year, when I've never had money. Which is fail, its like I work to get by, and thats it.

Hope everyone has a grand Hogmanay, whatever you're doing. See ya in 2010.

The day after the night before

Feeling kinda rough today.
Had my works night out last night, and it was great. Had about ten pints of lager and was kinda wasted at the end of the night. Was good though. Well, I enjoyed it. As with all work nights out, there was a bit of drama. It was between Sam, Jade and Jen. Jade's one of the new members of the team, and Jen and Sam have been pals for a while now. They are all involved with guys, but Jade was all over everyone, especially Sam. Jen didn't want to take part in their messing around, so she was completely ignored by Sam and Jade.

I mean they were sitting snogging in the toilets. Sam has a boyfriend and Jade is engaged, and I hate cheating. I'm trying to not be judgemental about it, but its hard when I saw how hurt Jen was.
I think work is going to be slightly awkward tonight. I hope it isn't, but I just have that feeling.

Other than that, everyone got on, and it was a good, if expensive night. Sky had £300 behind the bar, and it lasted less than an hour.

I still haven't been payed from my work, I get paid on Wednesday, and its going to be rush of christmas shopping. Heading to Kirkaldy on do some shopping, actually I mean all my shopping. I have my little sister a necklace, but that's about it. I don't even know what I'm getting everyone. *sigh*

I don't understand how I'm so far behind on shopping, I mean its not like christmas sneaks up on us every year. Its always the same. I am getting worse and worse about buying, because I feel like ignoring it, and it won't come. I've been doing that way too much lately. Its not just presents, its my bills, I just ignore them, and end up getting in a lot of bother. Its like I feel like I'm trying to get my feet cleared, but the banks and things just keep on charging me. I mean its not fair. How am I supposed to help myself when I go to the bank, and all they can offer is a paid account, which still limits me on my overdraft.

Stupid everything.

Blah

Get this.

First deadline for ALL my college work next week, and guess who is probably going to miss said deadline?

That's right. MEEEEE! (what a good guess)
The worrying thing is that I am not as stressed as I probably should be. Which is odd. I am usually at panic stations, but all I want to do is do other things. Such as drawing my character (whose name has changed from Kaiko to Kako).

Talking about Kako, I have went crazy drawing her. Its like I have been drawing her loads, and its the only thing I seem to have any productivity for. Its odd cause as a kid, I used to have all these dreams about 'foxy-people' and its like it is now I've finally found a way to put these thoughts into something productive. I felt that if i could start on something productive, I could transfer it across to my college work, which is easier said than done. I just can't focus at all.

Its like all I do right now is college and work, and that's it. Its driving me fecking mental.