friends forever

I probably haven't done anything that would warrant me needing a relaxing day, I am still going to have one.

Feel very satisfied right now with the friendships I have. Friends are some of the most important people in someone's life. They motivate you, can make you laugh, make you cry, make you feel good about yourself, and most of all, they make you feel supported. As people grow older, friendships change, but you know that even without contact, your friend still 'has your back'.

Unlike family, you can chose your friends, and that is what makes them so special. You spend time with people you 'click' with. And that makes you happy.

And with the magic of the internet, person can contact more people who have similar personalities to them. Most of my online friends, I have met through Good Charlotte, either from websites or even from seeing GC live. These are girls who know me better than some of my real life friends.

But whether school, college, work or websites, its the people who we take with us on our life journey that really matter.

Mates come and go, true friends are there for life.

Relocation, Relocation, Relocation

So if you have talked to me at all reccently, you'd know I've been stuck in a rut.
Well, I have been flat hunting. The usual places around me. Then I had the rather ubsurd (and probably never going to happen) idea of moving to New York.

Why? It is known for its influence on art, and the huge art and music scene it has. And I have a few interweb friends, I 'd love to meet and have them become IRL friends. Sounds silly, but meeting all my internet friends is a massive ambition of mine, cause they have been a big support to me over the years, and I want to personally thank them.

Death of the Interweb

Ok, slight exaggeration.

But yesterday my internet router packed in. It won't even power up anymore. It wasn't a progressive thing, it just died. So most of my online activities have been placed on hold, as I can't access anything. :(

This sucks when I am trying to start off work things. Luckily thanks to my Blackberry I can still email people and view stuff over that, but I still can't access large websites. So if anyone wants to contact me about work, either contact me on twitter or email me.

Better news, I entered a competition at my work to take photographs about the arts where you live. Basically you send like an application for it, and 5 people get chosen to take pictures for the competition. The person with the best photos will win a trip to London, where they will get a professional photography lesson. It seems a really great opportunity. So fingers crossed, it goes well.

The Future's Still Unwritten

Noone knows what is going to happen.

Which although seems a simple concept, it can be controversial, especially when religion comes into it. Some religions believe that you have a pre-destined path to take, like someone has already written the plot-line to your life. I guess some people find that idea uplifting, but I find it really depressing.

To think that no matter what you do in your life, that someone else has already planned your life out? How can that be anything but depressing?

I am of the belief that the only person who can decide how your life pans out, is yourself. The reason, I think, that people tend believe that something else is controlling their fates, as if something goes wrong, then they can shift blame from themselves.

People like to wash their hands of responsibility.

But then people will pray to God, in some hope that He will change their life. I'm sorry, but if you don't stand up and do something for yourself, then how can you be stupid enough to think things will change? But people obviously do, and then blame other people for their own failures. That is just passing the buck.

Take responsibility, go out and make your life yours. Because as the, very inspirational, Hannah Montana says: 'Life's what you make it'. If your life is a mess its noone's fault but your own.

Almost Normal

I kind of touched on this yesterday, but I love the feeling of normality that you get around people who are similar to yourself. The feeling that I'm not strange for liking the things that I do.

When I'm at this festival (Rebellion punk festival), I am not as out-there as some of the people here. Its a strange feeling, that as soon as I walk out out the venue and onto the street, out come the stares and whispered comments. The reactions themselves don't bother me as much as they used to, in fact I get a sense of satisfaction about it. But sometimes its nice to not have bitchy whispering behind my back. I like that there is no negativity that comes with me being myself.

How much does that say about our society? We are encouraged to be ourselves, but then mocked for doing so. People are still so closed up in their opinions of others that they get all defensive when they see someone act differently to themselves. But this festival, there is none of that. The place is so friendly, and anyone is welcome. Be yourself because that is what punk is about, and to me, festivals like this celebrate that fact.

Forget the trends, fuck what anyone else says, listen to good music and unashamedly be yourself.

Have a good Friday everybody.

Me and My Blackberry

A few weeks ago, I got a new phone, seeing as my poor old Nokia had gone on strike due the neglect it received. Poor thing.

So when thinking of a new phone, I decided I needed something which would enable to answer emails and so things, such as blog, when I am on the move. Yes, you read that right. I blog a lot, so it is a relief to me that I can do it easily from my phone. So, I was advised that maybe I should get a Blackberry, as they are ace at things like that.

So a few weeks ago, I renewed my contract and got a Blackberry Bold 9700. I thought I would leave it a few weeks before I posted a proper verdict on the phone. And after a few weeks, I need to say that I am shocked at how well the phone fits into my life. I can now see why people say that smartphones are the future of people surfing online and things.

The first that concerned me, was the QWERTY keypad, as I initially thought it might be a bit small. But due to each key been angled in such a way so that all the keys are reachable, it is a practical size.

It does everything else just as well as any other phone, such as texting and calling. The apps available for the phone have been really good quality, and again very easy to use. The only app I had an issue was OpenBeak, which refused to upload tweets 75% of the time. I then switched to UberTwitter, which is flawless. The only other app which I was disappointed in, was the LiveJournal one, which takes you to the LJ mobile page, which sometimes just refuses to post entries. I am hoping someone comes up with a good one soon.

I got the phone on a 24 month contract with O2, for £25 with unlimited texts and 300 minutes. You seem to get more for your money, than what you used to.

Overall, I am very happy with O2 and RIM for giving me such a brilliant phone at this awesome tariff.

For lack of a better title.

Though I'd check in on here, and say hey, because I am in one hell of a good mood.

Was paid yesterday, and paid all my bills today. Just have to pay for hotel, which I will do when I get to blackpool. I am relieved, and feel good that I am tackling everything head on. Going to take money out of the bank, so that I have everything to hand. And then all I need to do is make sure I don't spend it all.

I know, personal finances is something I try to keep away from here, but I am so happy and relieved, I can't help but share this elated feeling I have. It feels good to be planned and focused on things for a change. So hopefully this is a sign of things to come, that I will actually manage to keep my personal finances under control. The issue is, you miss a few months payments, and everything goes awol.

I am talking to a debt advice company, and I am looking to find a way to consolidate all my debt, so I just have to pay one bill a month, even if its a high payment, it can never be as high as what I am paying out already. And that will also allow me to afford to start some kind of savings. Which then all-in-all help me when it comes down to starting off the business properly. *thinks* I hope this works.

Blog sites are no.1

As a run-on from yesterday, I am still thinking about why I love the internet so much.
I mean, yesterday I ranted about how the internet is blamed for bad parenting. But as I said I use the internet mostly for blogging, so it has ended up being an important source of self-expression for me. Although I do have a lot of friends i know purely on line, a lot of them were made through sites like LiveJournal, which I feel has the best online community of all other blogging sites.

Although sites like Facebook are designed to help you socialise with people online, I think that it is ultimately fairly shallow in that it is very hard to judge someone based on their Facebook profile. I mean other than a few blurbs about them, and random comments, you can't actually tell how that person things. So on blogging sites, you naturally write a lot, and this really shows at least some of your behaviours and attitudes. And, call me self-centered, but that's what I think all these personal websites are there for, so that you can easily create your own little piece of the internet. And facebook doesn't really allow that, as there is no way to even express yourself through the colour of your profile, I mean even Bebo had that.

So in my opinion my blogs come above any other site, because I like to feel that someone can accurately see who I am and what kind of person I am. And you know that if you make friends on these sites, you know it is because they agree with what you say or you talk about the same interests.

Tumblr is a tricky one. I like it and all, but I can't help but think it is mostly kids slagging each other off publicly. All that tacky 'drama' should be kept on Facebook. But in essence, I think that's what Tumblr is trying to be, a bit like a blog site, a bit like Facebook, and a bit like Twitter. It hasn't decided what it wants to be just yet.

Caught in the Interweb

I, Sue Buckle, am an internet addict.
I can admit it. *It was hard*

Honestly though, people seem to be demonising the internet. Blaming it for the failings of their parenting, 'OMG, that perve took our little girl away'. First of all, people need to understand, the internet is no more dangerous than being outside, if you take away the stale air.

Teach your kids to be vigilant where ever they go. Don't blame the internet when you allow your child to have a computer in their room, and let them use something you know nothing about. As a parent, you need to teach kids, don't think its funny to start up a facebook page for 7 year old Sarah, and complain when she is talking to perves.
Kids think everyone is out to be their friend, just like a puppy, and the only way you can get it to behave is to train it well.

If you were a parent, you would check what friends your kid made online, just like you would do if they were playing outside. If you don't check up, you lose your right to complain.

The thing I don't understand, is that there are plenty of safe social networking sites aimed at kids (like Club Penguin), where every message sent and all users have their activity through the site checked. Because to be honest, Facebook was not made for school kids, its for the over 25 market. Which are still the people who spend most time on the website.

And the worst thing is, the panic button installed on Facebook. Do you really think that kids aren't going to abuse that. I mean we are talking about the chance to get someone you don't like banned off a site. To a kid, that may seem funny, like a good windup. And to be honest, these perves, aren't thought to be a threat. I mean if a guy says he's 12, why should other 12 years fear him and press the panic button. Usually the kids aren't aware of the issue, untill they attempt to meet up with the individual in real life. No buttons in the world is going to stop a teenager contacting someone the want to.

So the focus should not be on the website, which is nothing but a platform for meeting new people, it should be the parents who are willing to push the blame to someone else. Education is a powerful tool, use it.


I was told to never talk or accept anything of strangers, and that translated to the internet. Its what you tell your kids, if you tell your kid not to bother you, and to piss off, they will look for attention off anyone.

I don't think the internet is this evil monster. I think that if you don't disengage your brain, the internet is fun, and over the many years as a user, it has done so much. It has been somewhere for me to vent, to find new friends, to contact people I love and to share my art. And with my reccent 2 day absence from the internet, I had comments of people worried about me and things which (for once in my life) made me feel part of something.

And is that a bad thing?

Plans for the summer

*Finish learning Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car on the guitar

*Get my website planned and built

*Get some more tshirts designed and up in the shop

*Try and learn some basic German

*Work some overtime

*Get myself highered as a designer

*Really get into scrapbooking again. I am doing things, it’s just a bit slow right now.

*Blog and Vlog my summer.

*Dye and re-cut my hair.

*Have some time off work, and relax a bit.

*Try and see friends whilst there is some free time.

——

On a good note, I am working on my sketchbook whilst I am at work, because drawing and doodling away, helps keep me more focused (sounds strange I know). Going to try and draw one thing each night. Maybe. Probably not, but I am going to TRY and do one thing a night in my sketch book. So lets see how that goes.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

What is respect?
Respect is something that every person feels that they deserve. This is something which came into my mind after me and my dad had a 'discussion', where he raised his voice, but when I attempted of countering him by raising my own voice, I get accused of having no respect for him.

What is respect though, really? Respect is giving 'kudos' to those around you. It's treating people well, it's listening to their opinions, and accepting what they say, even if you have differing thoughts yourself. It's not difficult, it is all about treating others the way that you want to be treated. It is a quality that is forever being claimed by various religions, especially Christianity. I remember as a child seeing that being kind and respectful, was being Christian. It isn't, it is a part of human nature, which I don't believe to be lumped as a religious action

Not that I am against religion or anything, but I don't think that basic human behaviours should be tarred with some kind of cliquey movement be it religion or political. This is something that I believe strongly in, and it is a pet hate when I get told that certain mannerisms make me part of a certain group. But, that in itself is human nature. We find it easier to associate with anything, if we divide it into groups. So, its like behaving a certain way, immediately makes you become part of a social grouping, based on how people seem to stereotype each other.

Just like how because I was quiet at school, and liked to read, I was classed as a 'geek', and so many people I had this idea that I lived in a big house and listened to classical music all the time Where as my brother rebelled a bit more at school, and was called a Ned, mostly because I wore sports gear, without doing sports. And people would get that idea about him and hos friends, and automatically think that they were out to start bother, despite the fact that they weren't.

Well, I happen to have gone on another rant about stereotypes. I swear that was not the purpose of this blog, but I have put a lot of time and thought in to it. *shrugs* It must be said though, I am rather good at this whole 'going off on a tangent thing'.

Umm.....hey

It is said that people only think of themselves when they are in a crisis, and that only people who think of others should be rewarded. But that is human nature. We are born with something inside us, which is there to protect us from things we deem to be risky. We are criticised if we think the world revolves around ourselves, when in reality we CAN only observe that which goes on around us.

Obscure sentences, or valid point,s I don't know, but the topics I mentioned above, are what I have been thinking about today. So I suppose I should explain myself a little bit.

The whole 'fight or flight' part of ourselves is something there to protect ourselves against danger. But in civilised society, we are taught that it is respectable to reject our instincts to protect those weaker than ourselves. But what does that bring to ourselves? A sense of worth, a sense of knowing that you have done right by someone. So it isn't really for that person you protect them. Its for your own satisfaction, makes you feel good, gives you a buzz. Does that not make heroes completely selfish, because they do these 'commendable acts' for themselves. No different from anyone else.

In fact, is someone who does not allow themselves get bullied into 'heroism', and look after themselves, not more heroic. They get called selfish, when it is other people who intrude in others' lives to make themselves feel better. Which one is more selfish, they are both looking for pleasure and a feeling of purpose, but only the 'hero' uses other people to get that feeling of worth.

**Note: that is what happen when I watch the 'no such thing as an unselfish good deed' episode of Friends. **

The second thing was this trend of calling someone selfish because they think the world revolves around them. How is that selfish? Of course the world as we know it, revolves around us, because we observe it from our olace. So you form your own opinions and looking at it from when you stand. This isn't selfish to think others are there to help you, as that is how we automatically think of them, seeing all interaction we have with people usually involves talking to one another.

It is an automatic usumption with the lives that we lead, that we are to think things revolve around ourselves, so why should we be made to feel guilty about it. 'Think about others first' we are told, but why? In this life too many people pass the buck and like to blame their failure on others, and I think that this is just another way of doing that. It's like passing all your aggravation onto other people. Because your life is so meaningless you have to use any excuse to berate another, perfectly happy person.

Sometimes I think I should just lock myself in my room and be a hermit.

Punk rock is not dead

If you are talking about the 70s and 80s where punk was publicised everywhere, then yeah, punk is no longer at that stage anymore.

The ideal of punk was that people stood up for themselves, that no matter what society may tell you to do, you only do what you want. Its the ethic that it is YOU that can change your life, not putting your life in the hands of other people.

And now that DIY attitude is in the public domain, it will never die. Punk is the kid brought up on classical music, who goes to see Coldplay in concert. Its the man who wears a bright tie, where his work has a strict dress code. Punk is the little girl wanting to be a singer, when her folks want her to be a doctor.

I suppose, it depends on how you look at punk. But, to me, after being a memeber of an active Scottish punk scene for the last 5 years, I can say that it definately isn’t dead. People all too often, seem to think that punk is just about anarchy and sticking it ‘to the man’. So when they don’t see the national media covering punk, they assume its dead.

Punk has ALWAYS been about being true to yourself. And to be honest, I hope that NEVER dies

It's Suesday

Still oh so very hyper.

I woke up his morning to loads of comments from twitter, people were trying to wake me up. Now, this was at about 5am, and if you know me, you know that time of the morning is a no-go area for me. Well I logged on to see that both Benji and Joel had tweeted about my thank-you thread I started on the Good Charlotte website. Now this  contained a video of  me crying like a child, because I was having an 'emo' day, and wanted to thank the band. 

I sat staring at the apple mac screen in awe. I had no idea this had happened. And overnight, the views for my video went from 106 to way over 300.

AHHHHHH

JoelMadden

Check this out. Pretty F-in cool. http://www.goodcharlotte.com/forum/topics/thank-you-good-charlotte?commentId=2020424%3AComment%3A1538185

and

benjaminmadden

  aww sweetes thing ever #GCFAM RULES http://bit.ly/9GVMYr

That's right, my hero, Benji Madden called the thread and video I made, the sweetest thing ever. *squee* Now, I know that this is supposed to be a creative/ college blog, but I felt that because this is SUCH a big deal to me, I thought I'd share. I mean, I need to show my personality through my blogs, and this is a part of my crazy side.

And I say that as if I have a normal side :P

Funday?

So, today the most productive thing I have done this weekend is posting two Vlogs on Youtube and read Twilight.

I have Flash open, so I have gone through the motions of trying to get work done, but as of yet, I have made no progress. As for everything else, nadda been done there either.  :(

*sigh* I remember being at primary school, and I always did loads of work, and even did extra credit stuff, I was such a geeky kid. Then as I grew through high school, that resolve to doing loads of work, fell apart, and I found my self starting to fail subjects. Like English. I always write and I love reading, but yet I flunked higher English. It wasn't that the stuff was hard, it was more challenging, it was that I couldn't be bothered. Everything felt like too much of an effort. Which just left me frustrated

Well this frstration has continued through the rest of my education, be it the Vet Nursing or the Graphic Design. There have been a few years, where I have done really well, but most of it, I have just barely scraped a pass. And I get more frustrated and beat myself up. And that makes want to do work even less. Its a nasty circle, and I don't know if its ever going to end.

The one thing that has changed, is that I am now feeling that I no longer HAVE to do college to be successful. Surely if I am creative, it will speak for itself and I will get work. But from looking around, things aren't that simple and most employers in the creative sector require you to have some sort of formal training. Which is infuriating. I mean if someone has a good eye for design, or a good style, then surely that should be better than a certificate?

Doesn't skill out-rank grade? It irritates me to no end, that if you want to be successful in this world, then you need to have to have some kind of college degree. I'm not wanting a formal job, I am pretty much decided that I am going to freelance. But I guess only time will tell if that will work or not.

*sigh*

Check out my latest Vlog:

TGIF

Happy Friday everyone.

I have had a fantabulous week this week, and kind of pretended that I had a life. It was a nice change from just doing things online. The thing is, I tend to spend more money when I am out, which can be not so great. Can never win with me, I always find something to complain about.

Anyway, been sitting becoming addicted to more and more Vlogs (Video Blogs) via Youtube. I guess I like watching and taking note of how people express themselves when they talk to a camera, in the hope that I can pick up some pointers. Its the only way you learn anything like that, I guess.

So check out my second proper Vlog. Its maybe not perfect, but I had fun making it.



Its comforting to see that most of the Vlogs I have been watching, started of rather like mines. *Phewww :) * So at least that's a positive.

Random find of the day



Its an R2-D2 bin. I mean, I used to watch the orignal Star Wars trilogy ALL THE TIME, so I cannot say how excoted this has made me.  This wonderful little thing is from ThinkGeek.com- things for smart masses *yeah I loled at that*. You get a full sized one or you can get a desktop one.  Its is priced from $39,99 (£25.99) to $99,99 (£64.97). I really like them, and I have bought things off this site before. So check it out. Link to purchase R2-D2 is http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/89e4/ .
So have an enjoyable Friday folks, I am away to earn money to pay my bills. So ciao xx

Preview of the review

Happy Saturday everybody.

Hope all is good in the hood.         And such :P

I am blogging with my first proper Vlog. Though, I am unsure how I can call it proper as you can tell I suck at it soooooo much. :( Oh well.

I am promoting my lovely new camera, the Fujifim A180, becaue I love it. It has a very good video camera, which is a little washedout on its first youtube outing. I can see myself getting a tripod and recording off that. Seeing as it will be more steady than using the webcam on my laptop, which I am using right now.

Planning to recording the pub, both PJs and Creepy's and also film outside. Now these are different situations, and will show how the video copes with things such as movement and the like.  These seem like good tests of the video. I will also take pictures, but I already know my camera is fantastic at dealing with that.

Yeah, as hard as it sounds, I actually ramble more when I'm talking than I do when I am typing.  :)

Anyway, trying to get up the intrest, so if you enjoy my crap talking please Rate, Review and Subsribe.  I will love you forever, and will be  your best friend.

Enjoy whats left of your Saturday. xox<----have some naughts and crosses

**P.S.- product review was unexpected, but I thought I would give it a shot, seeing as I have been watching a ton of them recently**

**also- do not like new youtube to much, I'll get used to it though**

Sorry

Sorry for lack of updates of late.

I honestly, have not had to much to update about. The most exciting thing that has happened has been me starting a new youtube channel. Called, you guessed it, Riot Graphics.

I actually sat down and taped myself doing some (very bad) type of introduction. It made me feel for every single vlogger on Youtube. It was a disaster, took me about an hour to record the 40 seconds of footage. And even then it was not perfect.



Now I have broke the 'threshold, I should find it easier doing Vlogs, and feel comfortable talking to a camera. Its not the talking so much that bothers me, its the fact that it is out there for other people to see. :S

Saying that, I doubt anyone really cares all that much about me and my highly irritating voice :S

Anywho, the main reason for me starting a new channel is, so that I can do two things:

1)Improve my blogs, and the variety of which I can do. It kinda give things another dimension, which is nice :)

2) Showcase my work. I like the ideas of having my videos run as if they are a slideshow. I just need to do better quality/more reccent work.

Here is my first (poor) attempt at a slideshow vid, using Windows Movie Maker:



This kind of gives an example of 'what lays ahead' for me, and the way I want Riot Graphics to be shown to the world. Ok, at the moment, my 'high experience' has my videos look like they have been done by an 8 year old. Ach, c'est la vie.:P

Anywho, laters.

*P.S.- ummm you kinda DO NOT want to know how long I have stared at WP.com and willed it to tell me to add my videos. Its working now though XD*

Calm before storm

I am at work and I am so chilled out.  I work on the phones, for a television company (who shall remain nameless), and I have been getting technical training, so that I can help more of our customers sort out their problems, rather than transfering calls.

What happens is we get this training in a classroom, much like school, and then we spend two weeks taking nothing but technical calls. And right now, I am in the middle part, as I have just finished the training about 20 minutes ago. :) So I am on the phone, for the last hour of my shift, taking my normal Customer Services calls, and to be honest, it is totally dead.  And I am really excited about starting to take tech calls tomorrow :) , as in really cannot wait. I guess its just because I am trying something new, so it is always exciting. I am just happy its not billing, because I like techincal, but I cannot do billing for the life of me.

The one thing that is important with working on the phone, and even moreso with tech, is how you explain something to a customer. Which is how graphic design works, its how you communicate  the information. Its one of the things I have learnt, working for such a large company, customers only take in what they want to. So I suppose an important thing in what I do, is finding a way that all the important information will be taken in by whoever looks at it.

Because of the industry I am planning to go into, I am very big on reading the small print, but that is something I have learnt working here, as well as creating my own advertisements.  People absorb what you tell them to, and people use that power against the very people they set out to have as customers.

By not displaying information as clearly as they should, people don't even read important things such as contracts and small print, because they are boring. They just want to watch their new tv, not sit and read through a book of terms of their contract.  As a business who serves the public, is it not important that we tell customers EVERYTHING, and not just the good bits to make a quick sale.

At the end of the day, if you are honest and upfront, a client or customer will respect you for giving them all the facts. Just because there are conditions to your free broadband, does not mean that is anyless of an offer if we tell you of the conditions.

I believe that the public should be given as much information as possible, by us, as in businesses, so that the can make the best decision. And people who withhold information, should get charged, as we need to defend the public. They have faith in who they deal with, too many people take advantage of that faith.

**sorry for rambling, but its a thought which has been in my head a long time, and I think that it is something that should be openly discussed. **

Technology=life

Most of the last few days, I have only been on the PC, if it was needed. The reason is, that I am choked with the flu. I feel horrible.

But it did make me think how I would live without technology. I mean it is impossible for me to imagine my life without my computer, tv, mobile and X box. It's crazy. I want to know when did I become so emotionally attached to such items. I used to be attached to my wee stereo but that was it. Now, I carry my mobile and iPod everywhere. I am also connected to the web, for most of my day. Because I email clients and printmakers a lot, I always check my emails.

It's almost like a compulsion. Unless I am really ill, I can't survive on silence. I don't know if it's because I am usually so busy,  but I struggle to relax. apparently this is a common thing, these days, with a lot of people struggling to relax, because society, these days requires us to not switch off. It's like we always need stimulation from somewhere. It's crazy.

Hoping to get work as a graphic designer, I am going to be spending  a lot of time on the computer, that is something that is not going to change. That is not necessarily a bad thing, because it is something I need to do. I just need to be able to switch off a lot more. So that I can relax. At the moment I work and relax using the internet. I need to be able to feel that I can switch off from the web. Not really sure how to do that though.