Motivation such an aggrivation

What is happening?

I am so lazy right now. It feels like everything I am attempting to draw is so bad right now. And more often or not, I get fed up and just give up. It's so frustrating.

It also feels strange that I am not going back to college this year. All the people I have spent the last few years with are either going back, or going elsewhere. 4 years in a row I went to college, and it really did change my life.

Before I went to college I had a few friends, but 1 really close friend who treated me like crap. But college helped me meet a lot more people who I had a lot in common with. And it kinda helped me make proper friends, and feel a bit more appreciated. I now have people who I trust a lot in my life, and it makes me feel better about me.

Which leaves me a bit gutted, cause that period of my life is over. But its on to the next chapter, and hopefully it will go as well as the one that's just closed. Fingers crossed.

I've Been Workin'

So been busy.

I'm at the point where I am half way through my website, which I am pretty pleased about. But I have been spending a lot of my holiday with friends and family, which is something I don't often get a chance to do. But with me not going to college next year, I am aiming to use all my free time during the day to work on websites and other projects.

Due to my financal status, I am planning on using the next few years to do small scale work and get my business plan in gear. I hope that by the time I am in a better situation, I will be getting more work through the door. Because at the moment, it is hard getting enough work to properly start my business.

Luckily I still have the evening job, so that has made the situation of earning through my work, not quite so bad. And it is also allowing me to take opportunities, such as working towards blog sponsorship (which is a possibility) in the coming months. I am also in a position, where I am working towards showing in an exhibition next year, which would be awesome.

So things are moving, and the next year or so will be deciding the best way to move further. Exciting times in the life of Sue.

Good news everybody

My website is online.

http://riot-graphics.co.uk
I feel so happy at this. I was panicking about it, but I was doing my usual of making things more complicated. This is something I have been planning to do for the last  few days, but due to me acting like an idiot nothing happened.

I was stressing that I wouldn't find out how to upload the files to the web with in what little time I have left in college. Seeing as I am not coming back next year, I have decided that I needed to get it done where I could actually talk to someone about it.

I do need to actually point out that the site is not a completed design, and that I still have a lot of work to do on it. It is a base site, which is just basically a background with links on the page. Nothing spectacular. But, as I said I wanted to upload it, and I needed to do something, and that was made in the space of one day.

So I got the details to log into the server, I think its the server *scratches head* and it was uploaded in no time. So exciting seeing that I have my own site online. I was hyper for about 15 minutes.

I then, started thinking about a project I was planning on doing this summer. What it is, is that I am looking to do something focusing on music, as it means so much to me. What I am thinking of is doing an accoustic cover of a song, and record it on video, and also create some art work to go with it.  Its supposed to show the change I am going through, and to look at how music has played a massive part in who I am today. What do you thing? Good idea? Bad idea?

Speaking of music, been sitting listening to Hanson's live album all day, in anticipation of getting their new album within the next few days. Been a Hanson fan for 13 years and counting.

Angst

I have already said how I had to bail the course and my reasons for doing so.

Well, today I had to explain to one of my tutors why I was doing it. He was alright actually, but I hated telling him. It felt horrible.

But I did manage to get my website sorted a bit. That's right, I know own the domain, http://riot-graphics.co.uk. At the moment there is nothing on line, because the server is being sorted out so I can add my files for the site.

This has made me so happy. Its like after all this planning something is getting me somewhere. I am building my base page, and should get that finished tonight. :) And it will be uploaded to the service tomorrow. This feels like I am achieving something.

Updateez

Ok, this week has been a bit of a minefield, with my brain wanting to explode on me.

I have been left with the dilemma on whether I should finish college this year. I mean I have already decided that I am not returning to the world of education this year. Why? Because I hate it.

To put a few things straight here, I don't hate everything. I hate my work being in direct comparison with others, when whether its better or no, makes no difference.  I hate the atmosphere. The college seems to be such an uninspiring place at times. Because everything is in an open enviroment, as in one big room, lots of classes within that room,  and if one person decides to fuck around, it distracts everyone.

Well, I've spent my last few weeks of bloggie silence to think about what I want to do. Because I have been so uninspired at college, and I work every night, I have fallen behind in my work very easily. And it gets to the point where I was wondering whether I should rush everything, just to pass, when I know that passing grade won't get me anywhere, due to me not continuing with education. Is it not better, that I take time over my projects, do a good job, and use them to build my portfolio? I think that is a lot more beneficial to me.

Now don't get me wrong, I liked the course, and I love the people at the college, it's just everyone gets to the point where that can no longer work in that enviroment. To me, in the overall task of getting my business up and running, this is the best decision.

Its kind of taking a step backwards, before you can go forwards.

Ok seriously?????

Cheers weather.

You seem to know I haven't got a weekend right now, so you have decided to make it the hottest day of the year.

Grrrrr.

I have been doing my Riot Graphics logo all day, well for a couple of hours. I like it :)





I can see the 'R' being quite brandable, and I like that. I am getting my designs together for shirts as well, so they should be posted up here within the next few days before I send them off.  I have decided I want a few shirts with just my new logo on them, just to so that I can wear them.
Hence the reason, if you know me, this is posted everywhere.

So that I can see what people think. *sigh*

So if you view this blog AT ALL, or see the logo anywhere else, please tell me what you think about it.  I need to gage opinion before i get business cards and stuff printed out. Right, off to try and cool down for a bit, seeing as it is so so uncomfortably hot.

Ciao

I'm in overload

Sooo...progress from both sides today.

Got some more of Shaun's website designed, and its looking a wee bit better. It has a welcome banner and everything. So kinda happy that is getting somewhere. But nothing else is. :/

It's like I have so much to do, I don't know where to start. Most of it has to be in on Monday, and to be honest, that is kind of an unreachable target. *sigh*

But, I spoke to Caron, my tutor, today, and she showed me a bit about where the exhibition will be, and it looks a good space. And she said that I could put a few of my t-shirt designs up. So I need to have them ready to be picked up for next weekend, so they can be put in the exhibition come Monday/Tuesday. So I need to get the designs ready to be sent in by next Wednesday, so I can pick them up on Saturday. And at the moment they are still being finalised.

Graeme, web design tutor, told me about a company called Be Your Own Boss, where they partner with Scottish Enterprise, and they help people get their business off the ground. So I sent them an email, in hope that they will be able to help me.  I hope.

Way too much stuff going on right now. My brain is about 3 different places at once. :S

Riot Graphics' Progress

After months of being static in where I want to go, with my work. I am now offically starting Riot Graphics as a business. 

I know what you're thinking, 'so what have you been doing this past year'. Well, to be honest, I have been trying the name out, and seeing what people think of it. And it has seen some good feedback and interest. Also, I have been at college *cough*. Seriously, I have. :P

What has started this, is that the clothing store I was in contact with, has contacted me saying that whilst they like my designs, they are not going to be able to print out the designs themselves. So, this means that I would have to pay for printing and send some prototypes, so that they can see what they look like.

To get these prototypes, I am going to have to order them from an online source. Which involves me sending them the designs, and them printing them for me. Ideally, I would love to screenprint them, but that is not going to be workable, given the amount of time that I have. Which is not very much, at all.

So, I am starting work on my business plan, and am going to start pricing up different resources which I will need. A business plan, shows what your company is, and where you expect it to be within the next year. You need to estimate turnover, and sort out taxes. It seems very complicated, and after reading over things, it seems like it is complicated. But you know what, the prospect of people paying for my work, is my motivation for this. I am so ready for this, can't bare college for another year.

Monday Monday

Hello. Another weekend has passed, and I haven't progressed any further in anything.

I did a lot of thinking, and came up with the idea of starting a music blog, as if I don't have enough to do. Its going to be filled with music news and recommendations.  I love music, so I thought that this would be the ideal way to spread some love. So done both the recommendation and News posts for today.
Check it out: http://musicholdall.blogspot.com

Also I have an article I am supposed to be sending into my works internal magazine. Its to try  and help raise the moral of people in the call centres. I think its is a fantastic idea, and am looking forward to seeing what I come up with. I think it is going to be written in a similar way as this. 

So I am going to vanish and get the 500 word thing typed up now, seeing as I have 40 minutes before I start my shift. And that will be one thing I can tick off my list as being 'done'.

Weekend Thinking

Ok, I thought that someone, somewhere decided that weekends were supposed to be relaxing. Well, NEWS FLASH, it's not.

I seem to be doing this thing right now, where I just stress myself out over nothing. Which is so unlike me *rolls eyes* So I have been stressing out, on how my internet seems to be falling in and out of connection, like nothing on earth. Which I can normally live with. But when I am trying to upload a video to youtube, especially when there are issues with the uploader. So yeah,been going kinda shouty at the computer for that.

Aside from that, I have been updating things. Also been shouting at Tumblr, as it has decided that it doesn't want to do things my way, and just balls up everything I do. In retrospect, it may be me who is malfunctioning and not the site, but I like being able to blame something else. Makes me feel better about my failure.

Good news, a talk to my mum today, kinda helped me decided that I may start freelancing alongside my pay-job. Because I am getting interest in relation to my work. Basically, how it is right now, is that I am doing a lot of work for myself and I am really enjoying it. I have been told reccently, that I have a good writing style, though I do blabber on a bit. But writing was something which came into my head when I was at school. But at the time I wanted to be a Veterinary Nurse or an Artist. And here I am, aged 26 looking to start of a business as a graphic designer.

But due to the popularity in online blogs and journalism, I could see that in my future? I don't know. The one thing is, the comments about my writing has got me really considering things like that. But, I know that through the last year or so, since I really got back into blogging, I know that my grammar has approved 100%. And I have also picked up touch-typing, which was one thing I couldn't do at school. I have no idea where I picked it up. To be honest, I think its because, right now, I seem to spend half my life in front of a computer, be it at work, college or at home.

I guess I just have a LOT of thinking to do. I mean, do I get myself working 9-5 trying to kick-start Riot Graphics? It seems like a good root, as I have a lot of pathways I could go down. Fingers crossed. The thing is, I don't know how I will act being self-employed. I really don't know if I have the discipline to do that without having it planned out for me.

I <3 Monday

Today is a good day.

As in the best day I have had in aggggeeeessss.

A while ago, I submitted t-shirt designs to a few shops and online. Just because I hate the idea of stuff I like, lying around doing nothing, so I just sent them off in a PDF to see what would happen. Well a company (not going to name names incase it goes tits-up) in Edinburgh, got back to me and were intrested about purchasing the designs to sell. Also a company called threadless, have emailed me to say there is a real chance they could be selling two different designs.

*SSSQQQQUUUUEEEEEE*

I am so happy and hyper and generally I am a big shouty mess. I am so excited. Even if this doesn't go well, I at least have some experience at meeting actual proper clients. I don' t think I have ever been so excited, and so proud of my work. If I wasn't at work I would post something, but I am at work, your not seeing anything.

Alllssssoooo, been asked to contribute to a new Scottish Punk fanzine which is starting in the next few weeks. Which will be so much fun. I am getting some MP3s sent through via email to review. YAY!

And I am going to write an article to be submitted for Sky's internal customer service newsletter. I don't know whether that will go through.

ANNNNNNDDDDD, I am writing a 10,000 word fiction for a competition.

And that is all without even touching my college work.

I don't know the meaning of over-work obviously.

Up and at'em.

Well I'm up anyway.

I'm sitting here, still trying to get this design theory done, and what do I do? I decide to open up a website. I was sitting around last night, and I was thinking that I need to do something different, get an actual piece of the internet, that'll represent me completely.
And that's when I thought of Psychobabble. The word itself means, something that may only make sense to one person. And that's kind of representive of me in general.
The word itself came into my head, when I was walking home after a dead end shift on Kana, which is the Sky Help Centre, where customers can email in, rather than phone. It was everything from, 'you bastards for not refunding me for a box office i never watched, but never told you there was an issue till now', to 'I am 18 and want a job in your Uddingston call centre in Glasgow'. But it was a nice break from 'my sky isn't working cause there's snow on the dish'. Ugh. SO anyway..,I was thinking I need a way to get out of this job, so really need to jump on the whole freelancer, lets get my own work thing.

And thats when I started thinking about what kind of website I would like, well it would be slightly crazy and bright. The reason I am starting on the website is because whilst I have limited knowlege on building a website, I have no idea how to get a domain name, etc. So that's the main point of this. I learn more when I just work through things myself, so thats what I'm attempting.
See how it goes.

Its something I have NEVER done before, so it may all go dramatically wrong. But I'll never know if I don't try. So wish me luck.
In the next coming days, the logo will be done, and I'll be getting hosting and domain name sorted, hopefully.

Not so much fail as I thought

Well, despite all my whining I was doing before, I am not as bad off as I thought I was.
I am still motivated, so I have been doing a lot of drawings in my sketchbook and that. So I am still being creative. Just being a bit peeved I have to use MS Paint to scan anything in, which is just in inconvienience really. I mean Paint is pants.
I have been playing with Corel Painter, but you need a lot of practice to work it properly. I can make a good mess on it though

I did eventually get round to painting my hand (no, not that one), which I don't hate. I love watercolour, and its nice to be able to use it too let of some frustration.

I have an another attendance hearing at work. Oops, maybe I should cut down on the sicky days. I have tried, and its not my fault I had the flu. I mean I couldn't talk, so I couldn't do my job. Stupid work.

Anyway, I am enjoying my job more, and despite being more skint than I ever thought possible, I am generally quite happy.

Slightly anxious about the whole brother/army/Afghanistan thing, but I have already blogged my two cents about that http://riotgraphics.blogspot.com/2009/07/government-govern.html

But, for once in my life, I am chilled and happy.
Something tells me to make the best of it whilst I still can.

Oh, and because I have been listening to Black Flag and Anti-Flag all day and am in fact drawing a flag, its Flag Day. So happy flag day

Summer of fail

Ok, now one of the main things I need to edit my paintings and drawings i have done is photoshop. And my Adobe CS3 has 'fatal errored' over the last two days, leading to me deinstalling the whole thing.

Pain.:S

I dont have a working copy at home. So I thought I could install the CS4 trial untill I could get CS3 back. But the stupid thing is refusing to install.

So before I had a dead CS3, and now i have an uninstallable cs4. And the Adobe website is useless in giving any support. The tool they give, can't even detect the photoshop files I'm having an issue with. So good help there, Adobe. Pat on the back for you.

I am giving it a break, I'm deleting it all and starting from square one tomorrow. Despite me whining a lot, this blog is to say that I am not gonna be uploading much in the next while (unless someone can give me my beloved cs3 back).

I may photograph my sketchbook, and paintings and the like. I have like 3 commissions that i cannot do, I am sending them photos of sketches and stuff, and its going ok so far. But I can't do anything digitally.

I feel like I've lost a limb. :(

Todays work (17/08)

To update my two pieces of work a day. These are what I have done today. A digital piece and a mixed media one.





As well as doing these, I also walked the seven miles from Inverkeithing to Dunfermline, in the rain. Not my brightest moment.

Todays work

Wanted: Paper

I wasn't in college today. So I have been emailing companies for  paper samples. This is something, which as a graphic designer, I have been advised is essential so that I can have a bit more knowlege on the final product. Its because the paper something is printed on, always effects the look of the design. And  if the wrong paper is used, then it can ruin a design rather than make it better. 

I have also been drawing up a new logo design for my company, which will be updated everywhere. And I have got some ideas together for the Devil's Angel artwork. Which is good.

Made no progress on college work though. Which is great, got a free day time tomorrow, so will head in then. Tonight its website update time

Slow Progress

It feels like every thing I am doing at the moment is, two steps forward and one step back.  Which is not the way this is supposed to go.  I am getting there with everything, but I'm just not getting as far on as I would like. But saying that, I am so easily distracted its unbelievable.

Tonight, after work, I would ideally go home and get all my animation prep work done and dusted. But i know what I am like, and I will end up going home and watching a dvd, or playing the Xbox. I love DVDs and I my Xbox, but when I need to be concentrating on work, I have the habit of wondering off and doing my own thing.  Something irrelevent, and that I shouldn't be doing.

I do have this job that I am working on now, which should be getting done this weekend, sending the band information about my ideas by friday, and sort it over the weekend. That will make me really happy, as this is freelance stuff. And helps build me a portfolio. Something I really need to work on. Gonna work on my drawing skills too. I love drawing, and really wanna get back in the 'zone' and do a painting.

The band I'm designing for are called Devil's Angel, and they are a Canadian metal band. I already have ideas in my head and if I can execute it well, all will be good. I hope. I will sketch ideas out tonight and try and post them.

 

I know, I say that I'll post all the time. But I will do it when I get home.